They all laughed when I unveiled my grand unified theory of paintball/pellet guns after two incidents in little more than a week:

Pellet guns are a hyper-advanced alien race capable of controlling the minds of underclass football players and making them do stupid things for the home planet's amusement. Occam's razor.

Well who's laughing now? Two Louisville wide recievers, Chris Vaughn and Scott Long, have been suspended indefinitely after being arrested for assaulting a woman with a paintball gun:

Vaughn and Long were outside the Haunted Hotel in downtown Louisville early Sunday when they fired at people coming out of the building, Louisville Metro Police public information officer Dwight Mitchell said.

Their power over the minds of impressionable football players waxes. It's no longer a matter of "will there be another incident" as "will we be able to get the bowl games in before football programs across the country devolve into paintball-gun-related anarchy." My guess: no way, man.